Vlog 1

Welcome to episode 1 of my Vlogs. Hopefully with time, they will be better. 

Kinda like the Star Wars movies, except opposite.

Badass

So today, I decided it was time for a new background on my computer. I had a picture of a wolf as my background for like 3 months, because i found out that was my power animal via an online test, which you should all try, because it's totally badass. 

http://www.poweranimalsunleashed.com/creek.htm

Anyways, I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew I wanted it to be badass, because that's how my desktop works. So I typed "badass" into google. It turns out "badass" means "guns and boobs" to the google community. 

So I tried my net option. 

"Awesome."

This proved to be much more fitting.

Want to know why?

Yea. I feel way better about my life now.

Why is Sean Gross?

Why does Sean need a shower you ask? He looks totally clean and normal here...

That hair has no product in it. That is what two nights of little 5 parties and a show will do for you. 

Notice the shirt. In a few weeks you will recognize it as the shirt that I played in during the show. It was much sweatier looking at the time of filming. That all dried. It's still there. 

My feet have dirt on them. Not like, grime, I mean literal dirt. 

Conclusion. I had an excellent weekend. But now I'm tired. So I'm gonna go ahead and take a shower, because I can't think of anything else that is worthwhile right now.

Jake is a Cereal Killer

This is my friend Jake.

He is scary now.  He has diabetes. And sometimes, he sneaks into my room at night, and creeps around. Sometimes, he takes food. Whatever food he takes, disappears. I'm really starting to get worried about it. I mean, my cake never did anything to anyone, but if it isn't in my fridge in the morning, I'll fear for the worst. What could a candy bar do in defense to him? 

He also has lots of needles and vials of things I can't completely understand. Who knows what kind of tests he does in his room? I mean, I can't keep track of him all the time. And he is always counting these strange numbers on this little device he has. I think it's like a daily quota for things he has to make disappear per day. Because whenever the numbers are low, he brings unsuspecting cupcakes into his room.

I've never seen one return.

I'm just so scared for them...

Random Happenings of a Sunburn

So, if there's a doctor in the house, holler at me. Because I have taken my lack of pigmentation to a whole new level. While playing baseball on Friday, I somehow managed to get a farmers tan, while not wearing a shirt.

I understand it's nearly impossible to see the tan line (burn line) but I tried my best. It was like three days ago, but I thought it would go away by now. It won't.  

In other news, I had another fun mix up with numbers. I was under the impression I had two weeks left of school. This is because I can't seem to add in groupings of more than one. Therefore, groups of 7 days are far too much for my feeble mind. AKA we have 3 weeks left. 

But seriously, I took off my shirt for like 4 hours, and I still got a farmers tan???? What is wrong with me?? My shoulders were the closest thing to the sun, so my forearms burned? Like I had a mitt on, and I have the same burn on both hands. 

My skin sucks. 

Don't hold it against me please.

Retarded? Me.

Dear Sean,

You are a technology master. After months of this blog, you just now realized that the video strip button looks like a video strip. Awesome.

Enjoy the promo I made as publicity. 

The Brook of Job

Dear Life, 

Thank you for not sucking. You had many opportunities to change that recently, but you totally pulled through, and I'm totally proud of you.

That being said, let us babble.

So today, actually in like 30 minutes, I will possibly be showing this blog to my journalism class. 

Is Sean terrified? 

Yes.

People that are way smarter than me are going to read this and be like, God, I thought he may have been an academic equal to us. 

The reality of it is, nope. I just like to babble. Like a brook. Only If I were a brook, I'd probably be sweaty, because their main purpose is to move water. Well, currently I don't feel sweaty, or even moist. That could all change if this is being showed off.

But anyways, I guess thats about all of the knowledge I can think of off the top of my head that I want to share. Hopefully soon I'll figure out how to put videos on here, because I've made like 8975835362 (more like 3) And I think this could be a good home for them. I wonder if it's that link that says "edit html..." I'd check, but that'd probably delete everything, and since this is all a train of thought, it would be lost forever. Which may or may not be a bad thing.

Seriously though, if this was my home, me and my life would not be friends anymore.

Teeth Love and Logic. Minus Love.

So today, I was thinking illogically, and stumbled over a logical thought. Maybe.

If you have nothing, it can totally be better. Why?

Because no one can take more of it. Like, you can't have negative food. 

...I think that made way more sense when I thought of it...

Nextly, easter is coming up!

It is less fun now though, because I realized, no pink rabbit is really gonna secretly carry a basket into my room while I sleep. It's even harder to have fun because I realized if I eat a bunch of candy and my teeth fall out, I don't get a prize, I get dentures.

And actually, it made me realize that even if I couldn't afford the teeth procedure, and I took out a loan, they could totally take money that I don't have, which disproves my earlier theory. 

So I just kinda ruined my whole life in the 2 minutes it took to write this.

I guess this means it's time to study.

Ciao Ciao.

That means bye, in Italian. I hope I can remember more than that on the test. It is currently 12:52. It's gonna be a long night...

Space Fame.

So last night when I was going to sleep, TBS was on, and this crazy space movie came on, I think it was called Zathura. (I just looked it up because I wanted to be right, so I guess think wasn't exactly the word I meant.) Now While it was very interesting, I had a few problems with it.

One, it should not have come on right after the Goonies, because that made it seem even worse.

Two, I'm not sure why the dirt from the yard was still connected to the house. 

I'm not gonna keep putting numbers, because it's going to be a long list. Put the kids walk out on the porch, and they're in outer space. Why do they have oxygen and gravity? Because one kid spits, and it just floats away. Why doesn't he? Also, they are in the middle of an asteroid belt, presumably on Saturn. Why aren't they getting smashed by the asteroids? Why are the asteroids smaller than their house? 

And lastly, WHY ARE THE KIDS SO DUMB???

They aren't like crying and terrified, instead, they just go on with the game. The one kid isn't even 7 yet. I would have been like, snot nosed balling my eyes out. (I'd also be dead, via lack of oxygen....)

In other news, I have a friend who makes really awesome faces behind Greg Gumbel on TV.

That was exciting for me, and I'm hoping he gets to stand behind Greg again, and hopefully do something awesome, like storm the court and dunk, or get in a fight with an NC player. 

I don't think he can dunk, so really I'm just hoping he makes a scene. Thats how you get famous, and then I'd know another famous guy. 

Brett Michaels goes Bowling

HEY

What's up erbody?

I don't have much to say right now, so I'm gonna wing it, and see where it takes us.

Yesterday, I went bowling again, for the first time in a really long time. I forgot how inconsistent I am. And it brought me back to the glory days, when we still had the bowling team. Before it got STOLEN from us. The said party knows who they are, and I see no reason to name drop here, because I'm not that guy. But he wasn't the vice-athletic director. 

Thats in the past, I'm over it. But free bowling was pretty sweet.

Let me play by play the bowling games.

So, first, I did a dual gutterball frame. It was pretty sick.

Then I got a strike. 

Then I did pretty ok and got like a 120, which won. So needless to say, I was stoked, and talking a lot of shit.

The next game.

Bad.

I got last place. With a 98. Even me thrusting my hips at the air every time the ball was about to hit pins couldn't knock them over, which is crazy, because it used to work.

But I did do a pretty sweet move, where I... wait, I better not tell, because I'm sure I'll use it again. Probably a lot...

Anyways, bowling was pretty crazy. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, kind of like watching Rock of Love.

Brett Michaels was in Poison. Everyone rags on Poison. How the hell did he get his own show?

I mean, girls think they're going to marry him. 

It's the third season. Think about that for a second.

Dale.

You can now buy a Dale Earnhart Jr. bike via infomercial.

How kickass is that?

I honestly have nothing else to say, except that dunk contests are as cool as really cold water with ice.

And that sometimes I do my extrabest at things like basketball. Even when I lose by a lot and miss all my layups.

And if you don't try your extrabest sometimes, my ankle will frown at you.

Bird.

So, i was gonna post something april foolsy, like, that I deleted the blog. But I figured that might send out the wrong message, since people are maybe beginning to pay attention. So instead, I'll tell the story of my morning.

When I woke up, a bird was in my room. I'm not really sure how that happened, so I tried to let it out the window. Then i remembered there are screens on the windows, so that wouldn't work. So I said, hey bird, perch on my hand, and I'll carry you downstairs. She said ok, so we walked downstairs. When we got there, she said, I tricked you, I'm not really a bird, I'm a sea cucumber in disguise, to lead you to the promised land. Of course, i said, that explains how you got into my room. So we got on my bike, and headed toward Mexico. Border patrol was tricky, but she talked them into letting us through. Once we got through, we headed toward the gulf, stopped for pizza along the way of course, and got to the beach. Once we got there, she said, april fools, I'm actually going to eat you. She did, and I died.